Astrology and Relationships (Part 1 of 3)

Relationship astrology is a complex and fascinating way of charting the development of relationships and elucidating the karmic ties between them.  Astrologically speaking, SYNASTRY is the practice of superimposing two horoscopes and examining their interactions with each other.  It may be used to illuminate romantic relationships, business relationships, family relationships and so forth.  The purpose of synastry is NOT to dictate whether a relationship is right for us or not, but rather to guide us to a better understanding of our relating patterns.  Every single relationship in our lives holds the potential for greater self-knowledge, advancement and growth...even through considerable challenge and conflict.  Seeking wholeness through relationship is our human heritage..."Cosmic law is based on duality - heaven and Earth, good and evil, male and female, etc.  Love itself is the uniting of opposites - a principle one can see in traditional symbols of love, like the Chinese Yin and Yang and the Indian Lingham...The ultimate goal of true love is to eliminate duality and separation and unite in the center, symbolized most potently in the union of man and woman...".

So exactly how does an astrologer assess the compatibility between two individuals?  First, let me begin by debunking the oversimplified Sun sign incompatibility myths such as "An Aries Sun will not be happy with a Cancer Sun.", or a Scorpio Sun is not suited for a Leo Sun." (based on the premise that the signs are in square aspect and of a different element).  SUN SIGNS ALONE DO NOT DETERMINE COMPATIBILITY.  We have nine additional planets to consider as well as element mode (earth, air, fire and water), quadruplicities (cardinal, fixed, and mutable), aspects between planets of person A and person B, planets in the houses of person A and person B and the composite chart which is actually the chart of the relationship itself.  Soul mates will always have a powerful composite chart with plenty of strong aspects and connections.

It is assumed that prior to the relationship analysis, the astrologer has completed a thorough assessment of each individual's natal horoscope suggesting their needs, hopes, wishes, belief systems and relating style.  So, the first step after individual analysis is to study the element compatibility between horoscopes.  Each natal horoscope is an energetic entity in its own right.  Everything in our universe is made up of energy in different forms.  In astrology, we classify the zodiac signs into earth, air, fire and water.  Fire signs (Aries, Leo and Sagittarius) share a vitality and enthusiasm for life.  They are the optimists and adventurers who are motivated by their inspirations.  Too much fire, however, is the tendency to be overpowering and insensitive...such as leaving jobs half finished once the initial excitement has worn off.  Lack of fire, on the other hand, can be insecure, lacking enthusiasm and lacking physical stamina.  Earth signs (Taurus, Virgo and Capricorn) are premeditative, practical and cautious.  They place their faith in that which is reliable and useful.  Earth energy will persist long after fire has moved on to greener pastures!  Too much Earth, however, can be over materialistic and treat life as if were it were a serious business...not placing any value whatsoever on the mystical or intangible.  Lack of the earth element may result in feeling ungrounded or simply out of touch with the more practical aspects of daily life.  Air signs (Gemini, Libra and Aquarius) are the realm of ideas and the intellect.  They are outgoing, free thinking and people-oriented.  Too much air, however, may find it difficult to relate to others on an emotional, feeling level because it is so busy "intellectualizing" everything.  Lack of Air, on the other hand, may find it very difficult to be objective or rationalize its actions because it is air energy which fosters cooperation and good perception.  Water signs (Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces) are compassionate, intuitive, emotional and deep feeling.  Too much water, however, can become "waterlogged"...to absorbed in the feeling realm to grasp the hard core reality of a situation.  Lack of the water element, conversely, experiences much difficulty tapping into the emotional realm and expressing deep, heartfelt feelings.

Once we establish element dominance, we next look at the quadruplicities (cardinal, fixed and mutable).  The cardinal signs (Aries, Cancer, Libra and Capricorn) are initiating, self-motivated and ambitious.  An excess of cardinality without fixed perseverance may initiate several projects but not finish them.  A lack thereof may resist opportunity or lack the desire to get their ideas off the ground.  Fixed signs (Leo, Taurus, Scorpio and Aquarius) are powerful, determined, possessive and persevering.  Too much fixed energy can be stubborn, rigid and unbending, and the lack of fixity can be unstable and purposeless.  Mutable signs (Gemini, Virgo and Sagittarius) seek to acquire knowledge and disseminate it.  They are generally adaptable and flexible.  Too much mutability leads to nervous tension and distractibility.  Lack of mutable energy, on the other hand, may indicate an inability to assimilate new ideas and experiences.

Once we establish the element/quadruplicity predominance (or lack of), we then have a starting point for synthesis (and we have not even scratched the surface yet!).   Let's take a look at a few basic examples to clarify the above concepts.

Susan is predominately fire and Tom is predominately earth.  Initially, we see two conflicting elements because too much earth can extinguish fire and too much fire scorches earth.  However, this combination can be very productive and powerful.  Susan's inspirational fire can be drawn to the strength and consistency of Tom's earth.  On the other hand, Susan's fire can become very frustrated with Tom's cautious pace and Tom's earth can become exasperated with Susan's impulsiveness and irresponsibility.

In our next example, Mary is predominately air and her partner Joe also has an air preponderance.  Lack of communication will never be problem between these two, however, their relationship can be too lightweight, cerebral and emotionally unsatisfying.  This is because the mental or cerebral air element prefers to relate on an intellectual basis.  If Joe has more water than Mary, he may eventually grow tired of Mary's lack of emotional depth and insensitivity to his feeling nature.

In our last example, Patty is predominately air and John has a water element dominance.  Though air and water pose many challenges as mentioned above, they are often very attracted to each other.  Patty's air is fascinated by John's sensitivity and John's intuitive water admires Patty's intellect and reasoning power.  On the other hand, Patty's sociability may become frustrated with John's possessive tendencies or John may eventually feel that Patty does not validate his feelings and resentment builds.

There are many more examples and possibilities we could use, however, suffice to say that no-matter what the element make-up is between individuals...the purpose is to help us understand one another better, minimize friction and maximize strengths.  No ethical astrologer should advise whether to begin or end a relationship for the simple reason that our charts do not tell us everything about what FATE intends for us.  Some of our most difficult relationships offer much soul-centered growth for ultimately our highest good!  We will continue this topic further in part 2 of relationship astrology.

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